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modern_madhouse
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Name: alexa
Country: United States
State: New York
Birthday: 3/3/1991
Gender: Female
Interests: oh well i feel so loose tonight i might fall to pieces, so be prepared to sweep me out the door. and i might be horizontal by the time the music ceases, so i think i'll get acquainted with the floor.
Expertise: overreacting
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
2/2/2005
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| arabic studying,
being obsessive,
"cousins" by vampire weekend,
"daylight" by matt & kim,
energy suck as a result of trying to catch up on last week's lack of work and sleep,
fucking film fridayz presents "pirate radio" at the somerville theater,
gil scott-heron,
hume, hips like cinderella,
inability to focus on anything for more than three minutes at a time,
julian casablancas review in yesterday's daily with a byline that said "daily staff writer,"
kim deal,
lack of general sanity,
miller madness,
no surrender,
o rly?,
pumpkin cheesecake/butternut squash soup in a week,
r.i.p. jeanne-claude,
strong coffee,
thanksgiving din at dewick tonight,
u r 2 kool 2 b 4-got-10,
vampire weekend will be stuck in my head for the rest of this vampire weekend,
"where do the children play?",
xylophone, x-ray spex,
yiddish culture tues & thurs next semester,
zoo | | |
| anxiety anxiety anxiety.
most of it doesn't mean anything, and i can say that to myself, but that doesn't mean that it registers.
speaking of which, registration for spring semester is tomorrow morning, which i can hardly fathom. how does time go by so fast? it doesn't even really, it just seems to. life's what happens while you're worrying about tomorrow, i guess. but it has its moments, i must say. i love monday night dinners with stella, i love the periodical archives of the library, i love visits and phone calls and chats with the people who matter. i like who i am here, and i like that i like who i am here. i like doing things that make people happy, because it's as easy as leaving dumb facebook videos or doodling birthday cards during class. today is my last day of antibiotics, which makes me happy, but it's my first day of trying to make up all the work i didn't do last week, which doesn't really make me all that happy.
i also like all the excitement and anticipation right now. usually that just adds to the general anxiety that is my usual state of being, but right now it's refreshing. i like the anticipation, i like building it up in my head and seeing what materializes. so i keep making copies and playing pretty melodies out of my shitty laptop speakers and wondering what will be. and in the meantime, i'm having a pretty good time of it most of the time.
november started off with a cat stevens phase, listening to "trouble" on cross-campus wanderings or "i've got a thing about seeing my grandson grow old" on the walk to davis, "wild world" in bed late at night, "where do the children play" on the rez quad in the sweet chill of november sunshine. and now it's officially mid-november, and a little too cold, and a little too angst-ridden, so it's a time for pavement and replacements and bratmobile and bikini kill and DOOLITTLE BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO SEE THE PIXIES IN NINE DAYS I CANNOT WAIT and when i get half of my work done i will have a beer with kristiina on wednesday and when i get all of my work done i will drink an assortment of things on friday and life will go on, as it always does. and it keeps coming and it keeps coming and it keeps coming til the day it stops.
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| yesterday was such perfect 'weeny weather, gray skies behind skeletal trees with every crunchy hue of orange on the ground, and a full moon at night. perfucktion.
such a good weekend until it wasn't any more. cleaning out the 'pod to find last november's playlist entitled "i wait, november." funny how some things just carry over, some points in the year tend to hold on to the same feelings no matter the circumstances. we'll spend all our lives just havin' lives and there'll be no time for any lies
FUSSING & FIGHTING, OCTOBER
1. sovereignty - japandroids
2. we can work it out - stevie wonder
3. party - el perro del mar
4. ghosts - cant
5. hellhole ratrace - girls
6. untitled - evan greer
7. bleeding powers - ted leo & the pharmacists
8. used to be - beach house
9. outta my head - m. ward
10. sweepstakes prize - mirah
11. just like honey - the jesus & mary chain
12. no one does it like you - department of eagles
13. i want you back - discovery
14. i need you - the beatles
15. no surprises - radiohead
16. the ballad of sir frankie crisp (let it roll) - george harrison
17. everybody cares, everybody understands - elliott smith
18. neighborhood #3 (power out) - arcade fire
19. when the day is short - martha wainwright
20. you can't force a dance party - dent may & his magnificent ukulele
21. five years time - noah and the whale
22. true love will find you in the end - beck
23. hold my life - the replacements | | |
| i'm listening to "used to be" and wearing my devotion t-shirt and i want to be victoria legrand when i grow up, ok?
i am overwhelmed by blues and work and being the worst student journalist of all time. it's fiiiiiine. today looks like: lunch, midterm, study, test, crash. wake up and work more. it's a weird time of the year, because all real schools had fall break and this one's just dumping shit on us/me. i love this place, i do, i love what it stands for as an institution and i love the people i've met here and the shit i'm doing here and i'm positive i made the right decision to come here. i just miss my life, i miss my city, i miss my friends, i miss the comfort in being sad. | | |
| today was the most authentic fall day i've had in what feels like years, or maybe ever. i woke up at 1 because i needed to, i walked with my hands stuffed in the pockets of my leather with "most of the time" on repeat and a crunch underfoot, a different orange on every tree and only the thoughts of bob dylan and warm coffee and cool-looking lesbians at diesel floating around. so i sat in diesel and crushed on the ginger at the coffee counter (i'm sleazy for ron weasley) and read for a few hours and had an egg&cheese that made me miss paradise and a coffee that didn't. last night i listened to "naked as we came" on repeat until it was time to fall asleep and tonight it will be "most of the time" because i can make it all match up, i can hold my own, i can deal with the situation right down to the bone, i can survive and i can endure and i don't even think about (you). most of the time. | | |
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